Quotes from Fredless

Fred: So, now that she's alive again are they gonna get back together? Angel and that girl with the goofy name?
Wesley: Well, Fred, that's a difficult question. I think it's fair to say... no, not a chance, never, no way, not in a million years, and also, nuh-uh.

Wesley: You know, back in my days as a rogue demon hunter I once used that very spear to pin down what I thought was a small rodentius demon. Of course, the poodle's owners weren't very happy.

Cordelia: When was the last time Fred ever left the hotel by herself?
Gunn: Couple weeks after never.

Fred: Something awful's happened.
Host: Oh really? Wonder what that's like.
Fred: Oh no, was there another massacre?
Host: Oh no, no, just the one. But it turns out massacres are a lot like sitting through Godfather III, once is enough.

Roger: You'll have to forgive us hicks. Down in Texas we don't get a lot of guys who wear eyeliner... not for long, anyway.

Host: I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answer every time you waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted, it's located in my left butt-cheek, but it's still a heart. And that heart is broken.

Roger: Tell me that's something from the movies.
Cordelia: No, that's something that's gonna kill us.

Roger: What happened to his face?
Wesley: Angel's a vampire. He has a soul, but it's a long story. I'll tell you about it if we don't end up dying.

Trish: I almost hate to ask, but do you do a lot of bandaging in your line of work?
Cordelia: Mmm, occupational hazard. I mean, sure, there's the occasional demon who tries to kill us with pillows, but sadly, those cases are few and far between.

Cordelia: Voila! That's French for "I think we stopped the bleeding."

Fred: Angel's the champion, and Wesley's the brains of the operation, and Gunn's the muscle, and Cordy's the heart, and I'm...

Angel: So, how you doing?
Fred: Oh, fizzy. Kind of weird and fizzy. But excited. A little sad. Thankful. Sort of cautiously happy. Relieved and worried at the same time and slightly nauseous while still being hopeful.
Angel: Well, that about covers it.

Cordelia to Fred: Between you and me, I'm almost a little jealous.

Angel: She was just this nice quiet kind of crazy. I found that soothing.
Cordelia: And what, I'm not soothing? I can be soothing. I could soothe your ass off, pal.

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